Выпуск 5

Jokes

An engineer was taking a walk when a frog spoke to him and said, «If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess.»

He picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke again and said, «If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I'll become your girlfriend.» The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. The frog spoke again and said, «If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll become your wife.»

The engineer took the frog out of his pocket again, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog said, «What is the matter? I'm a beautiful princess. Why won’t you kiss me?» The engineer said, «Look, I'm a busy engineer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend or a wife, but a talking frog, now that's cool.»



Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.

The teacher says, «Why are you arguing?»
One boy answers, «We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.»

«You should be ashamed of yourselves,» said the teacher, «When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was.»

The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.




A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi.

B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi.





Man: I could go to the end of the world for you.

Woman: Yes, but would you stay there?




Man: I offer you myself.
Woman: I am sorry I never accept cheap gifts.





Man: I want to share everything with you.
Woman: Let's start from your bank account




Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
Student: No. I was standing on it.